DAY 1
On April 21st, 2011, at 4pm, my precious little maltese dog Narnia jumped out of my van in the parking lot of Seabra’s Supermarket located on Lafayette Street, Newark, without me seeing it. On that Holy Thursday, right before Easter, a journey I will never forget, had started. We were Desperate. We cried a lot. And we did what we could, humanly speaking, with the situation that presented itself before us. We left he rest in God’s hands and we asked Him to interfere and bring us a solution — without knowing He was behind all this and that He had allowed this situation to happened for a purpose in my life and the life of others who would come to be a part of or just know this story.
DAY 2
On Friday, more crying, more pain, more sadness. I prayed and begged God for a miracle. And in the midst of all this He brought to my memory all the messages I had heard in Church, at Bible Study and even online. And I realized they were all about faith and about being changed by God, even through suffering. That moment I thought: “God, I need to believe this. I need to have faith. There is a purpose i all this. Help me. You are the God of the impossible. I know this. I have seen your miracles. I have to believe.” I was practically on my knees crying and praying that whole Friday. Towards the end of the day, I thought: nobody called... oh Lord, I wanted so much for someone to call saying something...” Then right after that, the cel phone started ringing. One call after another with people saying they were seeing a little white dog on the street, but no one was able to catch it. It seemed afraid and it was always running away. That’s when I lost it in my desperation. Just imagining my sweet princess on the streets... afraid, hungry, thirsty, so desperate she was running away from people... oh that crushed my soul. That is when I really got desperate. Each call shattered me even more. And I wasn’t even close to Newark to go to the places where people were seemingly seeing her. i started calling all of my friends in Newark to please go to the locales of her sightings to no avail. Then I started calling people to pray for me and with me. That is when I called my pastor in Brazil and after praying she said: “do not worry, someone will pick up your dog, take care of her and then bring her into your arms back to you. When you have her in your lap, call me.” She spoke with such certainty, such authority, I knew that was from God, and at that moment my heart was filled with hope once more. And I decided to be at the Lord’s feet and ask Him for Words, guidance and comfort.
As I shifted the direction of my prayer from mere desperation to guidance, God started bringing to my memory the fact that I had been fasting and praying for almost 21 days, asking God to change my faith. Because I felt very much like a roller coaster Christian: when I was up, I was up, but when I was down, I was really down. And I wanted to be an unmovable Christian, that has an inner joy and peace even through the darkest problems, and not get so cast down. I felt very much like Peter: I would get out of the boat at any time, I would even dare to walk on water if I heard my Jesus calling me, but when I would feel the winds of adversity, I would drown deep into sadness and depression. And I did not like living like that. I wanted to walk in the assurance of my God’s victory and protection no matter the circumstance around me. So on April 4th, 2011 I had started to pray and fast for God to change that in me. And that’s when I thought: this whole situation may be a way that God found to bring about that change in me, to change my faith. Then more hope came in to my heart! I could feel God speaking assurance that there was a purpose to all this. I would start to calm down, until the phone calls would start coming in again because I was to far away to do anything about looking for Narnia. So on that very night, we went back to Newark. At midnight, we drove through the area of the sightings calling her name, but no signs of my little one.
DAY 3
In the middle of the night from Friday to Saturday, I got up to talk to God. I talked a lot to Him. We really needed a miracle. I asked Him to give me messages in the Bible. I asked Him to direct my eyes in the right places in the Bible in order to read something He wanted to speak into my heart. And in those moments of prayer, He started to show me that He had allowed all this to happen in order to change me. Suddenly ALL that I had heard or read in the past month came rushing through my mind and I could see that all the messages in church, devotionals, bible study, etc had a common thread message of letting God mold you, having a faith that moves mountains, trusting God with your problems, etc... Then I saw, God had been preparing me for this moment I was going through all month without me knowing it. And there in the middle of the night, God was showing me He was more real than I thought and that He was seeing everything,, that He was aware of my pain. I opened my Bible in several different places asking God to speak to me that night and these were the passages:
Isaiah 38:5 “I have heard your prayer and seen your tears” (He was acknowledging me He was real and present and aware)
Psalm 38:8-10 “I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart. All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes.” (He was describing He knew what I was feeling, to support and confirm His first statement to me in the Isaiah passage. He wanted me to know that these Bible verses were not opened by coincidence or mere chance.)
Psalm 37:34 “Wait upon the Lord, put your hope in Him, and do His will, don’t leave the path. He will cause you to receive your inheritance, what is yours.”
John 14:14 “Whatever you ask, in my name, I will do”
1 Chronicles 28:9-10 “...If you seek him, you will find him... now be strong and do the work.”
After all these Words, I could not deny or question that God was in all of this and in control of everything. There I truly saw concretely that God is real. REAL in every sense of the word: real. And mind you, that I am not a new Christian. I have believed in Jesus as my savior for 16 years. And I have believed because I have sense and experiences a measure of His reality. Otherwise, it would be a mere empty ritualistic faith. But I had never gone through such a painful and desperate experience in which I could not see the end of the tunnel to really prove God’s reality (and love) beyond any shadow of a doubt. In these passages, He was proving to me He was by my side, He was talking to me and saying: “my daughter, I see al this. I see your inner groaning. Have faith. Believe in me. Believe that this is all for a great purpose. Believe what I am telling you. I am working in you through this to give you the unwavering faith you have been asking from me.” My fear started fading. I felt strong. I thanked Him and noticed it was already 6 in the morning. So I went to the streets of Newark to search for her again. I was trying to be strong and do the work I could do, but instead of fear, now with hope and faith. Drove by all the streets I could until 7am. Then I picked up the babysitter went home, picked up my husband and went back to the Ironbound in Newark, where we were meeting with a couple who are really true friends of ours. They are also Christian, and their assurance was so grand in the Lord that they even brought a little can of dog for Narnia for when we found her, that day, or another, as the Lord wished. But they were prepared by faith. That was a great encouragement to me. Then the four of us walked through many street in Newark, under torrential rain, calling out Narnia’s name. At noon we had to go home and change because we were soaked. Then, after an hour, we returned with the couple’s husband and my neighbor’s teenage daughter. We went by foot to other streets we had not passed in the morning. We drove through the morning streets and the afternoon streets, but no sign of our little dog. The hope was grand, the Words from God clear that we were going to find her, but we had no idea where to look, where to go. At the end of the day, without physical and emotional strength, I felt like I was starting to crumble into sadness, when at that moment I drove by a girl on the side of the street whom I passed, but something made me go back, stop and ask her if she had seen the dog on the poster I had with me. She said no, but put my number in her cel phone and told me she would call if she’d see her around. After about an hour from meeting this girl, we had still not found Narnia, so we decided to call it quits for the say. I said to everyone and to my self with a lot of sadness, but yet with calmness: “it is in God’s hands. We really need a miracle.” Then we went to a luncheonette to get people something to eat after such hard work. When we sat down, who was right next to us at a table? The girl a had just seen on the street and given my number to. I thought what an amazing coincidence. Such a coincidence it looked like one of the God “coincidences” I have witnessed over and over in my life as a Christian. So I started talking to her. We were all amazed at that. We told her Narnia’s disappearance story with more details and then I told her that now, we were really needing a miracle, but that God had told me that He was listening to my prayers and seeing my tears. So I was just waiting. But then I told her that I thought very odd to see her there, since the little restaurant was so far from where I had see her first. Then I said: maybe God is trying to tell you something too through all this. And for my surprise, she said: “yes, it was God that put you in my path, and I even know why.” She then told me that she wasn’t even headed to that little place, but that they were going to another restaurant, but then changed their mind. My jaw hit the floor. Then faith rushed through me flooding and mending my broken heart. And the joy of the Lord was like fireworks in me. I was so happy. As I heard the words that were coming out of that girl, who ended up being backslidden and who needed, and wanted to go back to Jesus, I saw, felt and believed without a doubt, without any fear, that God was indeed doing a mighty and beautiful work through all that situation. I was so happy, that after all that walking, driving, searching through the entire Irounbound with no result of finding Narnia, I suddenly could see that it was all not in vain. That there was a purpose for everything I was doing and a purpose for everyone I was meeting in this situation.When I understood that I was just so happy that I was able to go home freely and on top of it, singing and praising God. I slept really well that night. And the Words God gave me in the Bible at the end of that day were:
1 Samuel 23:20 “and we will be responsible for giving him into your hands.”
Psalm 19:14 “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock (I was asking for an unwavering faith like a rock) and my Rescuer (my little dog’s rescuer).”
DAY 4
Resurrection Sunday! Day of miracles. Day of the impossible to happen. Day in which no one believed Jesus would have come back to life. It was the day I was looking forward to. For I was sure, I would find Narnia that day. But by that time, I was so surrendered to God’s plan that I was ok with whatever His will was for when to find Narnia. However, the expectation of finding her on Easter Sunday was still in the back of my mind through much of the day. My husband went to Newark early to put up 300 more fliers through out the streets. This time they were in plastic sleeves for we had seen the damage the rain did to the ones he put up on Thursday. I would call him every hour to check on him, to see if he had any news. I was anxious. But no news. And then I thought: today is a day for me to rejoice and celebrate my Savior. It is a day for me to worship my God for what He did for me on the cross of Calvary. It is a day of life, a day that reminds us of God’s great love for us, for me. And I was getting sad? “NO” I decided to celebrate and then started to tell my little girls the real meaning of Easter and what God did for all of us. And through the stories, singing and many metaphor for them to get the point of it all... Narnia would come to my mind and I would shed a couple silent tears for I was calm and with faith. It was just hard to think of her. And that is when one of the girls said: “Mommy, don’t cry, Jesus will bring Narnia back to you.” Those words were such another comforting tool from God to my soul. That is one more proof of what the Jesus says in the Bible about how our faith should be like the faith of little children: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3
At the end of the afternoon, my husband arrived. We were all calm and with a sense of mission accomplished. We had done all we could have done to find her. Now it was literally all in God’s hands. Then we got ready and went to church to worship our God and Savior, rescuer and redeemer. There, at church, we were reminded of what God had done for us. That there is nothing impossible for God. We left the service so light, so happy in the assurance of a God who is alive and sees and controls everything. A God who allowed His one and only son to die a horrible death, but who knew He would be resurrected in order to give us a chance to be forever with Him. He is in control of it all. Then on the highway going back home, we received two calls. Two Christian people with more news possibly of Narnia. One of them was a woman who had actually rescued the dog she had just seen on the street. Soon after she saw our fliers and decided to call us. We talked for a long time, and then she sent me a picture of the dog. But the animal so dirty and matted Ii could not tell if it was Narnia or not. It just looked like it could be. But I was so happy to see that there are good caring people around that could have rescued Narnia and were now loving her. I was filling with hope. Even if that was not Narnia. My heart was really changing. So I told the lady I would stop by the next day, Monday, in the morning. At night, these were the Words God gave me:
1Kings 2:39-40 “But three years later, two of Shimei’s slaves ran off to Achish son of Maakah, king of Gath, and Shimei was told,‘Your slaves are in Gath. At this, he saddled his donkey and went to Achish at Gath in search of his slaves. So Shimei went away and brought the slaves back from Gath.’”
This Word and the lady’s call had given me even more confidence that God was saying to me: “Narnia ran off to someone’s house, who will call you. You will get in the car, go to the person’s house, get her, and bring her back to your home.”
DAY 5
Early the next morning, I called the lady to see when I could go to her house in Newark to see the dog. When I got there, her husband took me to the backyard where I saw that very, very dirty dog laying down. I could not believe the lady had already given her a bath the night before. The matting and the filth were stomach churning. Her condition was so bad, that she must have been on the streets for probably a month. It was not Narnia. But that was how I was imagining my baby to be by now after all the rain and 4 days on the street. It was a female Shitzu.
I had taken a blanket to pick up and comfort the dog, if it were Narnia or not. The family could not keep her, so I thought, if it were not Narnia, I could take her to the Humane Society shelter. I came close to her and sat down near. I gave her some of Narnia’s food and treats, she smelled, but did not eat anything. I felt so sorry for her. I took her into my arms and just imagined her pain, the pain of those who lost her. I cried for her, I cried for my Narnia, just imagining she could be on the streets in the same situation. And as I embraced her, the Lord spoke to me saying: “do you see this little dog? this is how I feel when I rescue one of my lost sons and daughters from the filthy mud of life. The way you felt is not even close to how I feel when one of my children is lost. The way you shouted out Narnia’s name throughout the streets is not even close to how I cry out the names of my children through the streets of life. I shout their names through the streets, expecting them to hear my voice and come out of their hiding place that they have found to endure the storms of fear and oppression that come their way. I call out their name expecting they come to me, to my arms, so I can rescue them. For no human hand, no human effort can take away and cleanse the filth that gets attached to them through the streets of life. No bath can take the filth away. Only my blood that I shed on the cross can purify, restore save and cleanse people from the filth of sin.” And that is when I cried even more. For I could feel a little bit of that pain, and it was so hard, I could not imagine, what God feels. Then I understood that what I was going through was really much deeper than I thought. I was in a mission for God. A rescue missions for lives and not just for my dog. And that my dog would come back to me when I would have done everything God wanted me to do through this situation. Things I could only accomplish if put in a situation like this one. For if it weren’t for this, I would never have come in contact with a lot of people I was now meeting. Then I got up, embraced the family, held the lady’s hand and started to pray for her and her family and her house.
When I said amen, the cel phone rang. It was a Hispanic man saying he thought he saw Narnia at his neighbors house and he asked how much I would give as reward. Since it was man and I did not feel comfortable with his tone of conversation, I asked the husband in that family to come with me to meet that guy. He came with me. And the Shitzu came too. The guy was just a couple of blocks away. We got in the car and went to where the man told us to go. When we got there we had to wait for him to finish his job. We had gone to his job. So we waited. We waited for about an hour. So here I was with a perfect stranger next to me and a 12lb dog on my lap. I thought. God is in control. Let’s talk about Him! And even that waiting period was later to my knowledge designed by God for me to speak God’s love into that husband’s heart. Anyway, so I told him about the whole Narnia story so far, and how now I saw that God was taking care of everything. And not only taking care, but guiding me to places and people to speak about His love and how Narnia was going to come back to me. Then I told him about other experiences I had with God. Other miracles I saw Him do in my life. Other difficult situations He brought me through with victory at the end. That there is a purpose for everything if you give your life to God to direct. And as I told that husband all these things, my heart kept filling up with hope. Hope upon hope. It was so good to tell him those stories. Soon I could see that my life was full of miracles. I could write many, many papers, just like this one filled with how God did things or allowed things in my life that I did not understand at first, but then He resolved it in such a manner only He can do, with no confusion. It was so good for me to be reminded of that. It brought me even more calmness and assurance. the more I spoke the more I knew that Narnia was ok and that she was coming back to me. I just had to rest and trust God’s perfect timing.
When the man finished his job, he took us to his neighbors house. But she was a dog groomer and the white dog he had seen over the weekend was her white poodle. Oh, well, it wasn’t Narnia. But I told all of those people involved in that situation that God had a purpose for all that. And that one day I would come back to tell them the story. After a whole morning filled with unexpected people, encounters, and emotions, the husband went back home, the Shitzu was taken to the humane society, and I went home with a clearer vision of God for this ordeal that had come in to my life. I had a clear mission. I was going to wait for God to bring her back to me, but I was going to wait with a never before felt gladness in my heart and doing whatever He asked me to do in the meanwhile. When I made sense of that, God brought to my memory something I could not believe I had forgotten. He reminded me that the day after I had started my fast for God to change my faith, on April 5th, I was in charge of the opening Word at Bible study. And the Word was based on the following question: “What do you do when really hard problems arise against you?” What do you do when the world falls apart all around you? WOW! I could not believe it. Here it was, God was speaking again. The purpose of God for that situation in my life had started the day after I decided to seek God more diligently, with more intensity and commitment. Wow!And then I was able to see He had been giving me Words ever since that were preparing me for this moment of Narnia being lost. I was amazed at the reality of God. I was just so amazed. It all made sense. Then I started to read my speech notes for that Bible Study. I just remember that night I had been preparing what to say, that I was unusually flooded with so much to say about the question I had to ask and expand on at Bible Study. I remember I could not even sleep (and that is very unusual) I remember writing so much and thinking, there will not be time to speak all this, God?! This is just the ice-breaker, not the main word... But now I could see God what God had done. He was filling me with Words to be given back to me in this situation. Oh, how comforting. He know it all, even before it happened. And that was another assurance that He know how it was going to end, and for me not to worry. One of the thoughts He had given me to share at Bible Study that night was: when we have a problem, we immediately go to talk to someone. We call, text, Facebook, and email everyone we know to talk about the problem. We listen to so many voices. We listen to so many things and so many people, but we forget to talk and listen to the only one who has a real answer for us. The one with solution, not just the talk. The one with the real, perfect and peaceful solution for our problem: GOD! I was amazed. I was so filled with faith at that moment (the miracle I was fast for was happening: my faith was increasing and changing!). I was in love with this wondrous, incredible God. Then our of curiosity, I went back to all my devotionals, journey entries, Sunday preaching titles and posts I follow on Facebook and ALL of those messages were in one way or another, preparing me for this moment of losing Narnia. There was a purpose for everything I had been living and experiencing that month. The messages had themes like:
1. There is still a cross to be carried: pick up your cross and follow me... and do it with gladness... be of good cheer for I have won over the world (Jesus says this in the Bible) — this is almost like God was saying to me, the will be trouble ahead, but live it out with joy. Ride it out with joy, for I have endured and won over even greater problems and I will make sure you will win over yours, even if you don’t see that you are winning over these problems.
2. We are like clay in the potter’s hand. Let God brake you and mold you again. Let God take the pebbles out of the clay, put you at the center of the wheel (at the center of His will) and make you into a new vase. A vase without cracks, so it can hold things inside of it without letting it leak. A vase that can be used for something good. A vase of honor.
3. Hope comes through the storms.
4. Do with me as you please, God.
5. If you have faith as the size of a mustard seed, you will move mountains (and problems, and addictions, and bad habits, etc, etc, etc) — “He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’” Matthew17:20
All of the days of my fast, God was molding me, preparing me. After I read all of this I had been experiencing for 21 days, I God said to me: “You wanted an unmovable faith. A faith that does not crumble at the winds of adversity. I am giving it to you” At that moment I thought: but, God, I am not calling everyone telling them of my problem... And He said: “No you are not, but you are listening to the voices that come to you in every call you get with seemingly news about Narnia. You believe them, that there is a white dog out on the streets, and then you crumble in desperation. When you should believe me, what I have been telling you: that Narnia is ok, that she will come back to you and that this is not about her, this is about your faith and everyone I will make myself known to through this story.” WOW! so true. That was exactly what was happening. I was listening to the many voices around, but not listening to the voice of God. Just like the message He gave me to speak about at Bible Study. I was listening to the voices of adversity instead of God’s even though He had been speaking to me so clearly throughout so many Bible verses. Wow! That’s when I had a breakthrough. I got it all! I got it, Lord! Glory to your name!!!
At the end of that day we got another phone call about a white dog on the streets. A call that did not phase me, for I thought: let’s go fulfill God’s purposes, whatever this situation may bring, whatever He wants us to do: let’s go. And if this is Narnia, awesome. If not, we will keep going wherever God wants us to go and do whatever He wants us to do, and when Narnia shows up it will just be the icing on the cake. So my husband and I went. Found the dog and soon after we found her owner. We were doing what we could with what we had in our hands, without desperation or sadness. Just doing what God wanted us to do. We were on a mission, knowing that all that would just show people that God is alive, real and that He can do the impossible for us, if we just let Him.
DAY 6
Tuesday. The word God gave me when I went to pray in the middle of the night was Jeremiah 1:17-20 “Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you... they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the LORD.” Confirming that it was for me speak to people about God’s love and about what He was doing in my life while I waited for Narnia to come back, to be returned to me. God was saying that some people might “fight against me” or resist what I was saying, resist God’s message, but God was in control and He was going to protect me. How wonderful it is to serve God with a purpose! It is everything I ever wanted for my life in these 16 years of accepting Him as my savior: to do His work and know that it is because He assigned it to me; that He has a purpose for it. I was strong all day. I just really missed my little girl, Narnia. So all throughout the day I would pray and ask God to give me strength, because it was hurting, but I wanted to focus on Him and what He was doing through it all. Later that evening I went to the Bible Study I go to on Tuesday nights. I went against what I am used to do when I am hurting, whwn I have a big problem. So instead of being broken and depressed in bed, I put on a pretty bright pink shirt, put make up and perfume on and I went to worship God and hear His word at Bible Study. I knew He was goig to speak to me that night. I was actually curious what word He was going to have be brought to us that night. I just knew it. And like every other Tuesday, He did have a Word that was real and relevant for my life. He spoke again! And the message that night was: IF YOU ONLY BELIEVE, THE VICTORY IS YOURS: GOD WILL GIVE BACK TO YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU. Isn’t He AMAZING?! Isn’t He REAL?! And the rest of the message spoke about how God goes through the fire (hardships) along with us, to protect us from evil. And that sometimes He allows certain things to happen in our lives so that He can give us victory, and let us and those around us know that He is real! WOW, I was really amazed. And that night I started envisioning all the lives that could be changed because of this story, beginning with my life. Because not only was I telling people about what God was doing, but I was also posting everything that was happening on Facebook, which in a way was also confirming the word He gave me in Jeremiah 1:17-20 about telling people what God was doing. God is WONDERFUL! I surrendered all, ALL at the feet of Jesus that day!
DAY 7
Ahhhh, how much God spoke on this day! This was the Word I got during my prayer time. It was like as if God was narrating what had happened throughout these very long 7 days: Acts 27:18-25 “We took such a violent battering from the storm that the next day they began to throw the cargo overboard. On the third day, they threw the ship’s tackle overboard with their own hands. (after all my suffering, I decided to throw away all my pain and doubt and give it all into God’s hands in order for Him to set me free of this burden) When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved. (without my dog showing up for many days, momentarily, we lost hope of her being saved) ... But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost (be of good courage, she will not be lost); only the ship will be destroyed (only your unbelief and wavering faith that is tossed around like a ship in a storm, will be destroyed). Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve (Jesus) stood beside me and said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.’ (Do not be afraid, Anna, because this is necessary for you to go through this, because the lives of many around you will be touched by this). So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me.” (Therefore, be of good cheer, because everything will happen like it was told to you by the mouth of the pastor from Brazil who spoke to you: somebody has picked up your dog, is caring for her, and they will give her back into your arms!)
Another word God showed me in the Bible was a study within it that said that while Paul was in prison, he used all the time that he couldn’t do anything to serve God anyway, by speaking of God to all of those who came to see him and to write letters to all the churches he had founded along his journey with Jesus. And these letters are today most of the new testament and changing and impacting lives until this day. So I thought “that is what I have to do... while I can’t do anything... while all I can do is depend on God’s will and timing, I will be telling people of all the wonders that He has been showing and teaching me through all this. And just to confirm, this is the word God gave me right after I thought this:
Acts 28:23 “They arranged to meet Paul on a certain day, and came in even larger numbers to the place where he was staying. He witnessed to them from morning till evening, explaining about the kingdom of God, and from the Law of Moses and from the Prophets he tried to persuade them about Jesus.” It was such a beautiful day. Full of promises from God. I posted everything on Facebook. And people would write to encourage me. And as I read everything, I would put everything in my heart and think: I am caring my cross with joy! How crazy is this? I can’t even believe this. I am going through one of the hardest pains ever in my life, but I have joy??? Wow!Only GOD to make this miracle happen. Where is all the complaining, depression, anxiety?! I would look inside me and only joy was there. WOW! Amazing. Then I opened my Facebook account and there was a devotional about Peter walking on the water with Jesus. And it said: if you only believe (the same words from Bible study the night before!) you will do what I do, said Jesus! Do not be afraid. Do not sink. Do not fall because of the winds of trouble!) WOW! Then I went to my regular devotional. Now I was curious to see what would be the word there for I KNEW by now it was going to complement what I had read previously. And the word from Times Square Church’s Pastor David Wilkerson on his daily devotional was:
WHEN ALL MEANS FAIL | by David Wilkerson | April 27, 2011
To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most acceptable. Jesus said to Thomas, “You have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen” (John 20:29).
Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer—who trust beyond hope when all means have failed. Someone has come to the place of hopelessness—the end of hope—the end of all means. A loved one is facing death and doctors give no hope. Death seems inevitable. Hope is gone. The miracle prayed for is not happening.
That is when Satan’s hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger, overwhelming questions: “Where is your God now? You prayed until you had no tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises. You trusted.”Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind: “Prayer failed. Faith failed. Don’t quit on God—just do not trust him anymore. It doesn’t pay!”
Even questioning God’s existence will be injected into your mind. These have been the devices of Satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.
To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”
Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word. There is no other hope in this world.
In fact, after reading this, I got even more curious and excited, because now there was really no question God was really speaking and in control of it all. So I went to check the devotionals from Pastor Dave that I had been reading all these days, and noticed that since April 18, God was saying something to me in them, and preparing me, without me knowing for what I was going to go through with Narnia. INCREDIBLE! You can check them at: http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/view/devotions?filter0&filter1=4&filter2=2011
So after all I had remembered that God had shown me all of those days, I thought: Narnia is on vacation on somebody’s house and when this somebody calls me, they will not say I THINK I have your dog... they will say, I HAVE your dog, without any doubt... because God is not a God of confusion. When He does something, it is perfect and there is peace. So later that day, on April 27, 2011, at 4:30 pm (exactly 7 days to the hour that Narnia had disappeared) I received a call from a Hispanic lady who said these exact words to me: “we have your dog, come and get her.” Without any doubt in her voice she told me she had Narnia. I even asked: do you think you have her? are you sure? And she said again: “I know we have her. We just saw her picture on a flier on the street.” I was amazed and in awe again. And it came to happen just as God had told me it would happen. Someone gave my Narnia back into my arms. And just to complete the joy and confirm everything God had been speaking into my heart for all those days, when I got to the address the lady gave me to go get Narnia, we were welcomed by a family of 4 kids and a teenager with whom my baby had been, really, on vacation with. Eating treats and playing a lot. She didn’t even care when i showed up. She did not go on her separation anxiety cry when she saw me. Actually, she did not even look at me. LOL! They had even given her a bath. She was happy, clean, and even chunkier... Oh so good to see how faithful God is. He cares so much about us and what belongs to us. He takes care of us with excellence. He took care of Narnia with the best. Oh, it was so good to see that. He is faithful! More than we can ever imagine. It is worth it to serve and worship such a good God! For everything I learned in this week, it is worth it. For everything I saw Him do and speak. To see that He cares about the smallest details of our lives... It was worth it.. It was even worth it if Narnia had not showed up. For everything I learned and everyone I met, just for that it would have been worth it. I came closer to God than ever in 16 years. AMAZING! He truly goes beyond anything we can imagine. Amazing!
Then just to complete the joy, after we got home I took Narnia for a walk, and as I was approaching my house, one of my neighbors was arriving from work and with joy he said: God is good! (We had been talking about the Narnia story with him the day before and saying God is good and He will return her when He wants to). Then the family from across the street arrived at the same time while I was still talking to my other neighbor. And then another neighbor who was driving by stopped as well. We all looked like we were seeing a ghost. Because it was crazy to believe this had happened. We were seeing an impossibility come to fruition. A real miracle, because Newark is a big city. And to have her back was just unbelievable. And there, in that moment, seeing all my neighbors on my lawn, God spoke to me: “do you remember you were praying for your neighbors as well during your fast? I allowed this to happen also because of my love for them. This was for them too. So they may see and believe. So they may come closer to me and know my love in a deeper way. So they may believe in me and have new life in them: a new and abundant life that only I can give” Wow! I was again amazed at that and everything that was happening. If I had organized that get together, it would not have been more synchronized. And we were talking about God without walls, without walking on eggshells, without prejudice, just plainly, just being real about our journey with God or without God. It was beautiful!
Afterwards, I went to have my private moment with God to THANK HIM for it all. Oh, He is so good! And God gave me the following word in the Bible through a study in it, that said: THANK GOD FOR HIS LOVE (isn’t it amazing?!) And the verse that went along with it was: Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves (rescues) ... He will rejoice over you, with His love He will renew you, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
God wants to renew you. He wants to give you new life, an abundant life! And that is why you are reading this story. Please seek God! For just like I was calling out for Narnia, He is calling out your name desperately through the streets of life. Do not ignore His voice. Do not listen to all the voices that take you far way from the Father, the one who created you. God loves you. He wants to hold you, cleanse you, heal you from your wounds and care for you all the days of your life. He made me go through this so I could be changed and so that I could tell you firsthand that He is good and that is worth giving your life to Him. Just believe and give your life to Jesus! IT IS WORTH IT!!! HE IS THE GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE!!!
If you want, you can ask God to come into your heart now, all you have to do is ask. Talk to Him. That is prayer: a conversation with God. It is simple. Just be real. He knows you, He knows your struggles and loves you no matter what. He says in the Bible:”come as you are” Come as you are, but come. Just come to Him. Whatever He wants to change and do, He will show you and teach you. But in His most awesome loving way. His arms are always open to receive us. Here is a model prayer if you need to get started. But just speak from the bottom of your heart to Him. He is listening, like He proved to me through this whole Narnia journey. For like He told me in the beginning, when I had just lost her: “I have heard your prayer and seen your tears” Isaiah 38:5
Prayer of Salvation: Lord, please forgive my sins, my wrongdoings. I confess Jesus as my one and only Savior. Have mercy on me, change my life and transform me to be who You want me to be. I give my life into Your hands and ask you to do Your will in me. I want to know you more deeply and know Your peace, joy and happiness even when everything is falling apart around me. Please save me, rescue me and write my name in the book of life, so that I may spend all of eternity together with You. That is what I ask You, in the name of Jesus, amen.
As I am done writing this story, I know some of you will embrace it and let God in, and some of you will very much reject it. And some of you will not reject it, but will be skeptical about it because of the stigma carried by anything spiritual, especially Christian, because of some bad examples that have trailed among us. But this isn’t about religion. This isn’t about an evangelistic agenda. It is about God and coming close to Him, not a church. Going to church is just a physical consequence you will want to do out of love and thirst for more of God, not obligation or mere ritual. It may be blurry and awkward to open yourself up to speak to Him without a set of regulations and dogmas like we all have somehow learned in our lives, but that is what He wants from each one of us: a personal relationship with Him, so that all that bothers or hinders you to believe in Him can be clarified and taken out of the picture. Because when you know Him personally, every doubt, every controversy about Jesus created by our minds is dissipated. When you know God personally and you talk to Him, all your questions are answered and then there is assurance about it all beyond a shadow of a doubt. And you will know because it was God that showed you and not another man or woman that you may think is trying to convert you. So just talk to Him. He will answer you. And you will fall in love with Him. Whatever your background may be, it does not matter to Him. He doesn’t see labels in us, He just sees us. Because sometimes we can even have the Christian “label” and not have a relationship with Jesus either. It is not the label we carry, it is about our heart, and about us knowing Him. God cares about our hearts and He wants a relationship with us. He cares about where we are in our lives and where we are headed in the future. He wants to show us how close He is to us. How much He can help us. It does not mean we won’t have problems in this life, but He does not want us to go through them alone. And just like I learned in my story, you can as well see that God is real and that He can do the impossible for us. He wants us to let Him intervene. He just wants to be a close friend or a closer friend than we have let Him be to us. The rest, He will show you if you ask and open your heart to hear Him answer you. “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Jesus says in Revelation 3:20
Today, as I finish translating this (for I wrote the original right away, in Portuguese) is more than a month after all this happened. It took me so long because of time but also because of fear of being rejected, for most of you don’t know me, but there will be people who know me here in the U.S. and in Brazil who will read this as well. And as I pondered all the possible rejection scenarios (being called, crazy, fanatic, pushy, etc...) God put this in the email devotional that I received today: “however, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24. I guess He is telling me: “don’t worry about your life, about what people say to you or about you, or even how they reject you; just finish what I asked you to do: tell everyone about my love for them through this story.” So here it is. The story is done and translated completely. Now I just pray you take it to heart, for then, this story is just the beginning of your story with God! May God bless you and open your eyes and ears to His presence and love!
PS: and just as I am closing, my email beeped and this was what was in it: “This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” 1Timothy 2:3-4 GOD SPEAKS!!! Hear His voice today!
If you want to learn more about the Word of God and hear about Him and don’t know where to start or where to go, you can always listen to sermons at Times Square Church’s website (that is where my family and I attend): www.tscnyc.org, or even watch a live stream on Sundays at 10am (NYC time zone). But if you are in the NYC area, you can always visit too. The church is located in the heart of Manhattan on 51st Street and Broadway. The services are on Sundays at 10am, 3pm and 6pm; Tuesdays at 7pm and Fridays at 7pm (Bible Study and Youth Service). The pastors there really seek God for His words. They don’t speak just for eloquent, religious speech. It is really worth our time and attention. All the best, everyone!!!!
We have created a page on Facebook for all of those who would like to leave a note, share something God has done in their lives since they read the story, or just plain say something God put in your heart. God bless you! Here we go https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-New-Chronicles-of-Narnia/142329802527018
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